


Find Me In The Stars

by lafemmestars



Category: Heaven Will Be Mine (Visual Novel)
Genre: F/F, Post Saturn's loyal ending, Some lightly sad fic I guess, one-shot?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-12 16:38:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16876389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lafemmestars/pseuds/lafemmestars
Summary: With a long night alone with her suffocating thoughts, all she wanted was to create constellations.





	Find Me In The Stars

**Author's Note:**

> "Cut Too Deep" by Heavy Hearts is one of my inspirations for this. Enjoy, I need to refresh my memory of certain parts of the game so it's probably not my best fic and I took some ship ideas for the corridors in this fic from "The 100" loosely since it wasn't really mentioned where everyone lives completely.

There were things she wanted so badly to grasp and embrace, longing to draw close to the glass and lean against the smooth unwelcoming side of it. Her legs stayed tangled neatly into a combination of the blankets, glossy eyes boring into the concrete wall that separated her from everything. Others had to be soundly curled up in their beds, easing themselves into their own slumbers with many worries of their kinds. 

Focus shifted back suddenly to her door with thoughts of leaving again, then to flicked her eyes to the glaring red slits that stared at her in the dark. It warned her of her wasted time with her ghostly ennui. The bottle called to her sweetly and begged for her to grab it to give into anything that would force her down back into her bed. What kept her from moving from her spot was the idea of staring into the mirror to find the reflection of a girl with watery eyes streaking her pale cheeks. 

Everything had been tried, counting sheep as she would when she was childishly imaginative was warped into the distant memory of pressing her palms into the glass, staring at the dance of the glittery sky. There was a vague remembrance of someone leaning against her, marveling at the sky in her own special way. She felt like she could still remember just the exact weary look that would always resonate in her thoughts without constant reminder. Being there didn't trigger any revelations, it just left her staring longingly at the sight of green and blue, almost too far to make out, but still spectacular in her eyes. She knew she had hid her disappointment well, still had her arm around her as she looked past the mass she stared at, watching the galaxy show its luster and true colors in its glory.

Silence surrounded them and kept her from finding something to argue with her about. It was just like Luna-Terra pressing her finger to her lips to quiet her down, which sparked another memory into a burning flame in her cheeks.

"I thought we were just doing this to fuck with Europa-" Pressing her lips eagerly into Luna-Terra's, she fluttered her eyes closed and nipped lightly at her bottom lip. When she tried to return the favor, Halimede leaned her head back and pursed a pouty smile on her lips. "Just to annoy my dear aunt? To freak her out? You should know well I just didn't know how to confront you with this." Her fingers hovered over the collar of her jacket mindfully, brushing over the rough leather with temptation. With each sharp, hesitant breath, she could feel her eyes on her hands as they brushed the fabric aside, nudging her nose against her warm neck, giving into the trembling intimacy.

Halimede suddenly kicked the blankets off of her body, breathing terribly hard as she tried to convince her mind to waver her recollection. Her face was pressed into her frigid palms, cooling her eyelids that were hot with embarrassed tears. Everything was coming back clear in crashing waves, making it hard to keep from sinking into a progression of harrowing times. Her fingers curled around the blankets frantically as she paced her circumstances. Her foot touched the floor lightly before pulling back against the sudden touch of gelid surface. She eased herself back onto it, then started to lightly move around in her room while fumbling to find her flats. She leaned against the wall and felt around until her foot bumped against the delicate fabric. A low sigh pushed out of her lips while she slipped them on and pulled her sweater closer to her body, then carefully moved her fingers to pin in a code to open the door. A positive beep allowed her to leave. In very calculated movements she put the door back in place with a faint click, then glanced around the corridors. The empty lights showed signs of everyone resting alone, or not. She knew how she felt, and it kept her dazed by confusion in her own mourning silence. The shoes made soft taps as she walked, making it hard to mask evidence of her tiptoeing around. She passed by the flickers of light, mindlessly walking and staring at the concrete wall to her right that stretched on for seemingly forever. 

It ended abruptly, in the pane of glass she saw in her memories. Her fingers traced over it, taking in the familiar sight of a velvety sky that was scattered with shimmering lights so far from her reach. She rubbed her lips together slightly as she stopped her pace, looking past her opaque reflection and at the glittery mystique of the universe. Her eyes gradually scanned what the window of a wall had to show, nitpicking in alluring silence. They were met with the sight of a row of stars that almost seemed weaved together, and that's when she realized what she was looking for was in full display. Her stare was distantly focused on it as she plopped herself down to the floor. She fussed with her night gown for a moment to pretend as if she had no idea why she had snuck out. 

"Sometimes. Sometimes I ask myself if I miss you, and I think I shouldn't," Her throat went awfully hoarse, trailing off breathily, "but... I keep feeling empty. It feels like when you betrayed us, on the contrary I know you won't come back." Distain strained her voice as she glanced around, expecting someone to pop out of nowhere and order her back to bed.

Like the time Europa had strode out into the night and found her curled by the window, not even a day ago. The feeling of her legs pounding against the rough floor out of protest was present in her worry. 

Her body sank to the floor in a crumple of weakness and whimpers. Dandelion strings of her hair shrouded her face and kept her puffy eyes hidden. With the back of her hand she pushed the hair away to expose her vulnerability and place herself on display to her guilt. She parted her trembling lips and spoke to deaf ears, "I know I'll never best anyone else in your life, it would be everything to me if only I could've... Taken the time to make sense of you." 

Drawn to the glass again, she traced her fingers over the stars through the glass, creating a clear constellation with eerily ease. They drew through the foggy substance and formed the outline of a familiar figure. 

"What I'm trying to say is sorry," Her heavy voice shattered into broken sobs as she stared into what she traced out using the night sky, tears falling once again. 

"It's not fair.... its..."

Her breathing jumped suddenly into a quick inhales and forced exhales, teeth biting down into her purple lip. Her hand dragged across the outline, smudging away the outline fiercely.

"You didn't deserve any of this, maybe it's better for you to be with them now, safe. Untouchable." She bowed her head respectively, smudging the steam of tears across her cheeks with the sleeve of her sweater. When she looked up, they stared back at her. They were glittery diamonds that were scattered haphazardly across a midnight curtain along with precious memories she wanted to hold on for as long as she could.


End file.
